Recently on “Wait, So is this a romantic date?” we are joined by Autostraddle President and

L Term

specialist
Riese Bernard
to discuss: The Chart. You got that right! This episode is focused on lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with friends’ exes, buddies setting up with this exes, additionally the tradition developed by all of that crisis.

Arrive when it comes down to gossip, remain for all the mental handling. And before that enjoy a-game that examinations Christina’s boundaries: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she usually wouldn’t normally.)

Thank-you for all the great feedback after our very own premier! When you yourself haven’t but consider giving us a rating or evaluate!

SHOW RECORDS

+ 5 years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood chart
that’s the intersection of all of the my passions.

+ Here’s
the article
I reference where I mention starting up using my roommates.

+ My personal crush from the few days Mj Rodriguez revealed a songs video clip on her behalf song
“Something to Say”
!

+ As someone who has merely viewed some attacks of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with week C.C. Babcock had been stunning in my experience if it ended up she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they essentially however tend to be.)

---

Drew:

I might be extremely fine along with it existing. I would personally never add another person without their particular permission. However the idea of whenever someone had been like, “make sure you might be linked to me,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, oahu is the existence I stayed. I don’t worry about.” Usually strange? Would be that a problem?

Christina:

No, as if I becamen’t, I would personally feel bad not-being. I might wind up as, “hold off, I am not lying?”

Theme track plays

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.

Drew:

And welcome to

Wait, Is This A Night Out Together?

Christina:


Wait, So Is This A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big questions. First of all, would it be a romantic date? Exactly what are dates? That happen to be dates? Do we like dates? They are the form of concerns we address about this here very specialist and lovely podcast.

Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I am an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

My name is Christina Tucker. I am additionally an author at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer on the net. I’m getting better at describing me as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That is you. That is just who the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. And so our major topic recently could be the Chart.

Christina:

I just believed it required a sting. I am not sure. That believed truly remarkable, but In my opinion it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank-you, thank you so much. No, no, no. The right number of crisis.

Christina:

Many thanks.

Drew:

Yeah. So we’re talking about lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I adore that phrase because it appears like you need to resume the lesbians. It may sound like internet access actually working.

www.buddygays.com/

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely advanced level, really innovative, additionally has been around since there has been lesbians, I think.

Christina:

Yeah. I do believe students will say as soon as they discovered 1st lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside of these carved inside mud. And I also believe that’s exactly what that film is about, proper? It’s about the data? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and also the sand fossils?

Drew:


Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.

Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cave ladies. I’d see that lesbian flick.

Christina:

Really, when I have not observed it, I’m going to courageously claim that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we have a lot of lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never eliminated back that far. And that I believe it’s the perfect time we carry out.

Christina:

Why don’t we only hold having it further back in time.

Drew:

Before we have to the primary subject, you are however observing you. And I thought that it might be fun to experience a casino game the place you dudes could truly analyze Christina. Thus the icebreaker because of this few days is actually slightly online game that we call “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, once again, very stressed about this. This may you should be the way i-come to the online game. This could be my personal video game mindset, slightly high key, just a little stressed. Which is fine. We are all learning.

Drew:

I do believe which is great. In my opinion that’ll push you to be more susceptible, possibly.

Christina:

Certainly one of my favorite emotions.

Drew:

Simply a horror, merely a serious terror. Therefore, the way that “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i’ll explain a scenario. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina fan fiction. And that I’m planning to pause after each and every little section becoming similar, “Okay, Christina, I’m sure you have never resided with somebody, don’t want to live with someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I also will possibly say yes or we’ll say, “I’m ready.”

Drew:

Unless you — really, we’ll see here. But I’m excited. In my opinion i have perhaps cracked the signal.

Christina:

You’ve damaged the signal? I am excited.

Drew:

Let us find out how long this requires. If in case there is a constant carry out, In my opinion you win? I don’t know how discover winners right here.

Christina:

I don’t know that there exists champions in online game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I am not sure in the event that you’ll trust that next. Thus I’m going to get heading.

Christina:

Fair enough.

Drew:

Okay. Very, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You’re at the friend’s wedding ceremony. Inspite of the great number of romcoms you’ve absorbed, you probably did maybe not go to this marriage considering you’d meet any person because, well, this is simply not a romcom. Here is the genuine and typical life of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your designated seat and are generally glancing at your phone once you understand a female at the table is looking at you. She presents herself as your friend’s previous babysitter. She actually is stayed a friend for the family, but she does not actually know anyone there. She appears like mid-forties and has a striking angular face. You start chatting. She offers to get you a glass or two. When she gets up, you realize she’s six foot high, 6′ 3″ in pumps. You understand what? I am just planning stop there and be love, now, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I’m intrigued. I am captivated because I might get put at the wedding ceremony. But yet I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.

Drew:

Cool. Which is completely reasonable. Completely reasonable. Okay. So you spend the whole wedding learning each other. There’s just an immediate spark and instant biochemistry. And indeed, you will do attach therefore the sex is actually remarkable.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And therefore this marriage was a student in Northern California. And that means you both extend your own remains for three times to fuck and check out and eat at restaurants and fuck. And you also supply to divide the expense of the now joint place, but she laughs you down and is also love, “certainly maybe not, honey.” So that the next 3 days tend to be secret. You really feel your own wall space tumbling down. You are dropping faster than you actually have actually. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Very simply for clearness’s benefit, I’m having trouble imagining a world where I took three shock days off of work to spend time with an individual i really do not understand. That seems bonkers. In case used to do, beneficial to myself. But I’m simply not U-Hauling during this period. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That is great. You merely met. I have it. I get it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you much.

Drew:

So she comes back to nyc and also you go back to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where We live.

Drew:

And you’re texting everyday. That’s where you are living and it’s really where this girl lives. And you’re texting constantly and you also see each other many times per month. She’s extremely active together with her job, but she’s quick to buy you a train violation so you can come see this lady and stay at her stunning brownstone in Fort Greene. Following half a year pass. And something evening when you’re out over dinner, she asks one relocate together. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to Ny? I don’t really love nyc. No, I’m not relocating within six months level. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. And that means you keep matchmaking long distance. She knows that you will need some time and the woman is willing to wait for you. Even more several months move. Its now been over a year. The landlord informs you they are offering your house to a developer who is putting in apartments, so you can not restore it. You will need to get a hold of a brand new destination. Your today girl informs you that no pressure, but the woman present nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. At this time, i might U-Haul for a few factors.

Drew:

Yay! Okay. Kindly inform us.

Christina:

Primarily, in some sort of by which my personal landlord marketed my house to cultivate it, my property manager is now my closest friend, to make sure that appears like one thing moved wrong within friendship. And I may want to just keep Philadelphia anyhow. Whenever I get to maneuver in with my sweetheart over right here, that seems good. That’s good. Totally good. But yeah, I think i would require an external power like a mean property owner.

Drew:

That is very — ok. Used to do believe that you’ll want to need construction attain indeed there, and so I’m glad I knew that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is just what needs to happen to me personally first.

Drew:

Well, i am happy to know what it’s going to take. Thus theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t kicked away, just how much longer?

Christina:

Actually, might went on for a long time. Philly and ny commonly actually that definately not both. I acquired room over right here. We are moving backwards and forwards. We are having happy times. I could have try to let that roll for some time until I guess Shoshana can become the worst individual I’m sure.

Drew:

I didn’t know Shoshana owned your home. Really, there you go.

Christina:

There we get. Wow, which was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, many thanks for playing.

Christina:

I am pressured, to be clear.

Drew:

And I’m grateful that I know… possibly if you’re previously, therefore if anybody’s ever dating both you and wishes you to definitely move in, possibly your gf told Shoshana to sell our home in the interest of your connection.

Christina:

Honestly the fastest means — someone would have to communicate with Shoshana and start to become similar, “merely kick her around.” Immediately after which she’d resemble, “Yeah, sure. Definitely.” That could be the way it took place, though she failed to promote the house. Somebody would just be like, “are you able to merely stop her out very she will only get over it and relocate beside me?” And she would state yes. A hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That is what friendship is actually.

Drew:

I really like that.

Christina:

Yeah, that is actually beautiful.

Drew:

Really, I feel like we discovered a great deal about yourself.

Christina:

Many Thanks. Personally I think like We learned plenty about myself, as well. Risk of homelessness is actually the point that keeps me personally relocating any scenario, i suppose. Wow.

Drew:

Well, which is fantastic.

Christina:

That was truly fascinating. I’m just as happy to move into our very own major portion because I think dealing with lesbian connectivity with this particular guest, because of this unique visitor, I think it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. How are you experiencing?

Drew:

I’m thus thrilled. This really is a professional. And by that, after all an

L Term

specialist, but some a professional from inside the subject at hand.

Christina:

I think two things tends to be correct, my buddy. In my opinion a couple of things is true undoubtedly. Do we need to introduce the guest or will we wish all of our guest introducing by themselves?

Drew:

I would love our visitor introducing herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I am going to declare that our very own visitor could be the one and only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, communicate.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And it’s really odd become the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, really.

Riese:

I got not to say any such thing. I didn’t also do so. I did state things. I’d to sit down here quietly.

Christina:

And also you happened to be actually brave. As well as your confronts were valued.

Riese:

Thank you so much such.

Christina:

Though that is clearly an audio medium, I want our listeners to understand that Riese was generating some good reaction faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely numerous ways to be heard. You know what i am talking about? That is what I always say. Im the CEO of Autostraddle.com. And that I’m also on an undefeated kickball group. And that’s me personally. You will find a dog called Carol. And I have dated individuals.

Christina:

Congrats regarding the kickball!

Riese:

Thanks. I have been involved with folks.

Christina:

Great. Loving that. Which is great to create to this, this here online dating podcast. That is really good.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion that… will there be anything?

Drew:

No, In my opinion that’s fantastic, Riese.

Christina:

Anything you wanna share.

Riese:

I like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and private pools.

Christina:

In Contrast to…

Riese:

You Are Aware when someone goes like…

Drew:

It really is like whenever you blow. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be gross, therefore I simply just evacuated all of them from my personal head.

Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, I instantly thought of you with this topic.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because firstly, demonstrably, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian community have-been like, I am not sure, having sexual intercourse with others which people they know have seen gender with since long before

The L Term

had been actually ever a string. But i really do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a particular cultural notion of the data with Alice Pieszecki. And so I decided you would have many insight into this subject.

Riese:

It is genuine. Two of the writers, i do want to state, of

The L Keyword

had this real chart ones in addition to their buddies these people were attracting regarding wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, was one of these. She chatted to united states about it, they had developed this. Because demonstrably, every person for the reason that publisher’s room had banged others for the creator — you understand, in addition to prolonged web of the generation of lesbians in Los Angeles. And in addition they saw can they certainly were like, “let us place it during the show.” Many ones are on the data. Like, some people which … like, genuine everyone is throughout the chart as a joke.

Christina:

That is wonderful. That’s the manner in which you understand you have made it.

Riese:

Actually that sexy?

Christina:

That would be thrilling in my situation.

Riese:

And therefore if you haven’t viewed

The L Word,

first and foremost, congrats. Second of all, it will become the centerpiece of one of your head character, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has it all over her wall. And in addition it is the name of an internet site that they began known as ourchart.com that flopped. Additionally the concept … And it’s inside the pilot, I think. For the very first event, Alice starts writing on how every person’s linked, because every person’s hooked up because of this individual. And that I can hook up you, as if you’re probably only two levels from the myself. And therefore had been true. Like, even with Dana, that has not a lot of experience because she had been a closeted tennis player, they however could actually link the girl. That is certainly true to life since it is correct.

Christina:

That’s society. Yeah. That is what culture appears to be.

Riese:

That’s society. That is queer tradition there. And from now on everybody else can make unique charts.

Christina:

Yeah. In order that would be my personal subsequent question, had been have actually either people made a chart? Because I don’t imagine i’ve, I am also style of today thinking like, the thing that was this last year seated inside my residence for if I did not generate a chart? Like, that which was the point of that, truly?

Riese:

I think I’ve completed it within my log, just as like … Because i prefer, I am not sure, organizing info, I guess, as a thought workout.

Christina:

Yeah, i believe that’s additionally why i’m surprised that I haven’t accomplished it. I really like the notion of categorizing circumstances.

Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it is fascinating. I’m not sure the reason why it really is thus fascinating, but it’s. Its fascinating as similar, wow, a few of these individuals, they can be linked. Its untamed.

Drew:

In the tv show, once ourchart.com is conceived, they usually have a genuine chart that folks will add material. And that I feel something that you joked pertaining to on

To L and Right Back,

now folks say always is similar to, when this existed in an actual way, no one would put their unique brands upon it, no one would feel at ease placing their brands upon it.

Riese:

You’ll.

Drew:

I might. I would end up being extremely okay with it present. I might never ever add some other person without their authorization. Although notion of want, anytime somebody had been like, “Confirm that you will be connected to me personally,” I’d be like, “Yeah, it is the existence I resided. I don’t care about.” Is the fact that unusual? Would be that difficulty?

Christina:

No, since if I happened to ben’t, i might feel bad not being … i’d resemble, “hold off, I am not upon it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?” No, that will really deliver myself into a light moral panic about exactly who I am as a person, the things I’m undertaking. Was I interesting? Carry out individuals {like